Growing Home

Waking up periodically throughout the day to the fact that this life is dream, I take the moment to read the signs and symbols objectively.

It goes like this. I am walking with Nisha, she has fallen asleep heavy-headed on my chest. I breath into the tight strap of the “baby harness” and utilize it to expand my lower lung cavity. I see myself walking and smell the complexity of smells that drift past and touch me. I watch my breath going in and out , and , I am walking. And suddenly I am in a dreamscape. Crows circle and water trickles somwhere. I look at my day as a dream.

Woke up to a snow covered feild. Felt no anxiety and pulled the car through the snow with a spare tire. The Man at the Tire shop spoke loudly and spun in circles answering calls and yelling to mechanics. He ran everytime he changed location. As he sold me four new tires, I became aware that he had milatry training.

In and out in 15 minutes? Is that possible? Ah well. Dreams are like that. Car driving smoothly. No longer wobling.

So I look up tires in a dream dictionary: Flat tires: depression, helplessness, will we be able to arrive at our hoped-for destination? Tires indicate dwelling too much in the past. And indeed I was in one of those dire moments when I got the flat, just waiting essentially…to get home, to take refuge.

I had been part of an estatic dance class where we circled at the begining and end and I have been feeling ever-so unexcited and disillusioned with circles. strange i know, but true and grounded in knowledge. It is as if sitting in these “we want to feel connected” circles just affirms our separation and lack of unity. Watch the children….they tend to want to get right to it. Let us gather with purpose and not draw out the experience for the sake of wanting more.

Let us not be cyclical in our needs, like worn out tires.