Growing Home

Oh, language.

Somehow this word “practice”, as in “daily practice”, has become overused and simultaneously resisted. Spiritual babes that we are, we look for cop-outs everywhere it seems. Sometimes I get nauseous from the incongruencies. In my self and in the world. Especially in myself, in the world.

But I thought “what a great business card.” “Practioner.” on front, contact on back. A little along the lines of existential detective, but truthful.

When I talk of my practice I so wish it to be full-bodied and succulent with the grace of god. So that others might know that this path that leads to liberation is richer than the richest. And full of incedible gripping challenge, never boring as it seems people tend to imagine. But we were raised by distraction and find 1 minute of utter selflessness difficult. always looking for a flashy idea, film, book, song, food, partner to fill the percieved boredom. Life throbs on.

He asked ” So what would you do for fun if you had money, the weekend off and a late morning on monday?”

Grace help me to just remain in my practice. watching my breathe, my posture, my cravings, my aggitaion, my love, my thoughts, my body, my distractions, my self-intolerance, my pain, my joy…. and reamin in that awareness until every moment is simply awareness. of the moment in all its variety.

As if money or days of the week mattered? I could die tonight, truth be told, we never know. So wake up, wake-up I call to my Self masked by a veil of thoughts of the world and ways to change an every changing flow…I need not.  Namah.

Yes, having difficulty finding balance in communication. Wanting to badly to just give, feeling so clear to not get involved in samsara over my head. Because my heart and well-being guide me to never jump aboard a sinking ship.

And we are drowning. AH. seeing that helps to acknowledge my helplessness and seek help from someone who doesn’t need help, who isn’t drowning. and that one is god-consciousness. and only by letting go of my desires can I merge as the one eternal fullness that Iam.