growing hOMe

god realization and random thoughts… October 16, 2010

daily routine
5:30 am Organic yoga or breathwork or both.
7:00 am Meditation with Swamiji
8:00 am Walking meditation or walking distraction depending on the mood of the mind.
9:00am Mandukya Upanishad class
(Self-knoewledge and relentless, liberating absolute negation of all I assume myself and the world to be)
10:30 Sanskrit Class
11:20 Mandukya Class 2 (second oppurtunity to drop my conditioning by way of shared insight with guruji)
12:30-1:30 Lunch break
1:30-3:30 Seva in Library
5 pm Bhagavad Gita Class (ch. 7 ignorance and knowledge)
7:30 pm satsang
8:30 evening stroll/playing piano or harmonium, sing. and eat snack cause im really hungry after 13 hours of continous sitting, walking and engaging the heart and mind-to the Max!

When all our time is spent engaged or in meditation we are left little time to consider our small selves with any vigor. It lends to the whole process….of loving aliveness more and more. I look different too, probably because I am accepting myself more completely, there is a huge shoadow in our lives when we are rough with ourselves, its the deepest part of our relation to self that we try and keep hidden, but it is always there, asking us to turn our vision inside out and realize we are what it is we desire.

For the first time in a long time I feel the security of life living me. There is no misfourtune that could pose as real if I see my absolute fullness, my deathlessness. And so I am allowing plans for the future to drop and invite the play of the universe to come ask me to dance.

Sacrifice. If I were to need something in life, from another, or from the earth, would I have the sense to sacrifice for the gift. To give back 10 times what I use??

Greed and Sacrifice…what an exploration. Love

I had a day-dream about meeting up with a friend and saying to one another esentially : I am interested in knowing you, but really to be honest I am most interested in knowing myself as god and us as One, and so why dont we take up a text or series, and just stay near each other, like an short pilgrimage until its over, lets grow each other yo! and then look into whats next, instead of trying to make it all about ‘us’ as separate entities.

I just love to dream about different ways to relate, things people never really have the courage or zest to do, whatever it is…so what are your dreams, and are you willing to wake them up?